If you need a roommate agreement for whatever purpose, a dorm room, a rented apartment, what have you, this will probably fit your needs pretty well. This was the roommate contract the 8 of us in 704.5 wrote and handed in last fall. It is also a fairly accurate description of how we live our lives.
Article V. Collective Urination
Preamble: How will we share common space and personal possessions?
Being highly territorial creatures, it is important that an acceptable system for distributing resources be in place to minimize bloodshed unrelated to vampires. Minimizing vampire-related bloodshed is impossible (see Appendix A). In the interest of fairness and equality, common space will be distributed through a system of urination. The rightful owner of common space in the room will be determined by identifying to whom the freshest/strongest scent of urine belongs. This “ownership” lasts only for the time while the urine is in a liquid state. Artificial steps taken to extend or reduce the drying time of urine will not be tolerated, this includes but it not limited to adjusting the temperature of the
room—which should always be between 61 and 63 degrees.Should discrepancies arise regarding to whom the strongest/freshest scent of urine belongs, a panel of six members of “The Gay Brigade” ( will be assembled to make a decision. In the event their vote is a tie, the object or area in question will be burned.
