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What can you do with a bucket?

• cut it up and make pretty earrings
• chamber pot
• use it as a washbasin after World War III
• put progressively smaller buckets inside to make boring Russian dolls
• combine with a small pump and make a desktop fountain to relax you during stressful times
• fill it with candy and put on a receptionist's desk
• throw it down a well and listen for it to splash so you have a rough idea how deep it is
• fill it with hot rocks and take it in a small room when you really need a sauna
• wear it like a badge of honor
• bust it
• sell it as scrap metal
• make plaster in it and patch the holes in your wall
• use it as a nondescript way of marking mass graves
• throw it away and never give it a second though
• hook it up with a dowel and a wire and make a miniature washtub bass for your pirate band
• keep pigs blood in it for Satanic rituals
• hold it up as an example of the folly or success of mankind, depending on your point of view
• you've got to store your ever-expanding rock collection somewhere
• put it under a bad roof to catch leaks
• use it to wedge a gas pedal down when faking your own death
• use it to catch the oil when you're replacing it in your car
• use it to hold weeds when you're gardening
•  fill it with secrets and hide it under your bed
• keep miscellaneous cables in it
• fill it with paint and then splash that paint and pretend you're Jackson Polluck.
• use the rim as a cookie cutter to make giant cookies
• put a lid on it and churn butter inside it
• use it as a mixing bowl
• fill it with flowers for a rustic centerpiece
• cut holes in it and put a candle inside it to make a beautiful night light
• fill it with carrots and give to horses, profit
• give it to the tooth fairy so she can collect molars in it
• with very careful cutting, it can become a lovely bird cage
• milk a cow
• fill it with water, freeze it, and go ice blocking
• paint a face on it and use it as the head to a scarecrow
• use it as either a mortar or a pestle, or possibly both
• cut it into strips, sharpen, and then threaten people with them
• put it over your head to use as a guide when cutting your own hair
• stand on top of it in a night club to become a go-go dancer
• put it on a street corner and beg for money from a passerby
• fill it with coffee for those hard-to-get-going mornings
• prop it up with a stick tied to a carrot in an effort to finally catch Buggs Bunny
• fight dirty by hitting people with it
• carry firewood in it
• use it as a condom for your horribly misshapen penis
• use it to collect grub from rotting wood
• fill it with water and dump it on someone as a fun summertime prank
• use it to make coffee when camping
• put two beetles in it and make them fight
• trace it to draw a sun
• use it to collect the tears of fairies and make magic potions
• burry it upside down, in hopes that a mole makes it into a splendid home
• give it to a giant and let him use it as a thimble
• cut eye holes in it and make a knight's helmet
• hit it with a spoon and keep the beat to your favorite record
• use it as a makeshift blindfold when batting a piñata
• use it to finally complete your robot costume
• cut off the bottom and use that as a frisbee
• put it on your head; profit
• hide it at the end of a rainbow in hopes that a leprechaun will fill it with gold
• cut small pieces off, glue those to your shoes when you need tap shoes in a pinch
• have a contest with your friends to see who can throw it the farthest
• use it to hold words for charades
• tape it to your radio's antenna to dramatically improve the signal
• put one on each foot to keep shoes dry when walking through puddles
• saw the top half of it off and use it as a collection plate in a church
• kick it
• take it as an accessory for a barnyard-theme party
• fill it with popcorn and pretend you're at the movie theater
• trade it for a bigger bucket, or a smaller bucket, depending on your mood
• use it to build sandcastles at the beach
• turn it over and sit on it when you need a stool
• let it rust out, then use the rust to make thermite
• stand on it to get a unique perspective of your particular location
• stack it on top of other buckets and see how high of a tower you can build
• fill it with water and carry it around so people will hold doors open for you
• stand on it when hanging yourself
• punch holes in it and give it to someone as a gag gift (dribble bucket)
• allude to it, or use it in an extended metaphor
• use it to carry water in from the well when you need to take a bath
• keep it on your desk as an inkwell
• line it with a plastic bag and use it as a trash can
• put your Taoist books in it and burn them when you become an Immortal
• keep your pennies in it, while you are saving to buy a bigger bucket
• use slivers of it to make nibs for fountain pens
• decorate it a little and keep it to use as an old-timey spittoon
• poke a hole in the top and create the world's worst straw
• fill it with kittens and take it to an animal shelter
• use it to save your urine, give that urine to marijuana using friends who need to clean pee
• tie a rope to the handle and use it as a dumbwaiter in your tree house
• wash your clothes in it
• use it as a female condom for your promiscuous lover
• put a slit in the top and make it into a ballot bucket
• paint on it and call it art
• think of things to do with it
• talk to it when you have nothing else to do
• make things appear in it while doing magic tricks
• conserve it for the war effort
• give it a name and then get in a fight with it
• pretend that it's haunted and sell it on eBay for way more than it's worth
• use it as a fashionable purse
• put lipstick on it, and and take pictures of it for a glamor magazine
• dip your feet in it when it's filled with water to rinse the sand off of them
• fill it with confetti (or semen) and prop it up on top of a door
• add some potting soil and some seeds and you've got a tiny garden
• tape it to your forearm and use it as a shield
• fill it with marbles and shake it on New Year's Eve (what a festive idea!)
• roll it down a hill
• use it as an ineffective pillow
• fill it with soapy water and scrub the floors
• bake a chocolate cake in it
• write a circular argument on it and mail it to the editor of your hometown paper
•  use it to protect your comrades from a land mine that's about to explode
• fill it with fancy cheese and give it as a gift bucket
• tie it to a kite and try to recreate a variation on Benjamin Franklin's famous experiment
• keep leeches in it incase you are ever called to be a doctor at a Civil War reenactment
• use it as an ash tray
• put a brim on it for a futuristic top hat
• beat a hobo to death with it
• put salt in it and put it next to your front door just incase it snows tonight
• fill it with vomit, put a stick in it, and freeze to make the world's largest barfcicle
• fill it with holy water and baptize unsuspecting children into the Catholic church
• put it on the stove and make perfect pancakes
• buff it to a nice shine and fix your hair in the reflection
• list it as an item needed on a scavenger hunt
• claim it as a dependent on your taxes